Weasleys Wizard Wheezes: The Ministry Disapproved Edition (The Liability Remix) [HP; Percy; Gen]

[melle-mal.livejournal.com]

Title: Weasleys Wizard Wheezes: The Ministry Disapproved Edition (The Liability Remix)
Author: sullensiren
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Percy Weasley
Summary: From the Desk of Percival Ignatius Weasley, Concerning the twins' latest product line.
Warnings: None
Spoilers: Through OotP, I suppose.
Rating: PG
Title, Author and URL of Original Story: Weasleys Wizard Wheezes: The Spring 2006 Edition, by xylodemon.
Disclaimer: I don't own them! They belong to Rowling, I was just borrowing them!
Feedback: Yes Please!
Author's Notes: All images, sparkly fonts, and phrasing on the original ads was done by xylodemon. The catalogue itself was all her doing. All I added were Percy's notes. Thanks to tygress for all the help with formatting and graphics! The original story was posted before the publication of Deathly Hallows and the thing that happened therein, so for the sake of comedy, this can be considered AU wherein that thing did not happen.


From the Desk of: Percival Ignatius Weasley
Attn: Fred & George Weasley
Concerning: Weasleys Wizard Wheezes: The Spring 2006 Edition

Fred and George,
This is most certainly NOT my area of expertise, and I didn't have the time to spare to look over all your toys. But since I'm related to you, apparently that means it gets delegated to me, nonetheless. Enclosed you'll find a copy of your latest catalogue and my attached notes. If you would actually read them this time, it might prevent me having to do so in the future!
Regards,
Percy

P.S. Don't bother sending anything by post; I have people checking my mail first. So all you'll do is end up torturing strangers.

P.P.S. And don't try to send it to me at home, either!

---

93 diagon alley

Spring 2006 2 Sickles

Dungbombs


Stinkpellets


Cloth-Eating Powder


Fantastic Fireworks






Canary Cremes


Tonne-Tongue Toffees


Skiving Snackboxes


Kitten Kaboodles


Tortoise Ticklers


Jumbo Java Jolt


Gay For a Day Parfait






Palindrome Portkeys


Instant Holes


Decoy Detonators


Darkness Powder






Rubber Wands


Biting Broomsticks


Instant Lethifold







Pygmy Puffs


Pocket Pooch

to view merchandise in the Adults Only section tap your wand below [I SOLEMNLY SWEAR I AM OF LEGAL AGE]

detach parchment at the dotted line and owl to: Weasleys Wizard Wheezes 93 Diagon Alley

Order Detail Item Name: Item No.: Qty: Price: Item Name: Item No.: Qty: Price: Item Name: Item No.: Qty: Price: Item Name: Item No.: Qty: Price: Item Name: Item No.: Qty: Price: Item Name: Item No.: Qty: Price: Item Name: Item No.: Qty: Price: Item Name: Item No.: Qty: Price: Item Name: Item No.: Qty: Price: Item Name: Item No.: Qty: Price:

Shipping Information Full Name: Address: Town/City: District: Owl Code: Home Floo: Work Floo:

Payment Information Coins Gringotts Automagic Withdrawal Galleons: Vault Number: Sickles: Contact Goblin: Knuts: Signature:

Comments

[maple-mahogany.livejournal.com]

♥ Percy.
That is wonderful. Such a perfectly adorable and dry sense of humor.

[lorax]

Aww, thank you!

[ozma-katiebell.livejournal.com]

Yay!

I love Percy in this. So dry, the perfect foil.

[lorax]

Hee, he's funny because he doesn't know he's funny! Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Also - icon love! Young Frankenstein!

[lady-lyca.livejournal.com]

And now Monday sucked a lot less. XDDD

Awesome-istic!

[lorax]

Hee, I'm glad to have helped! Thank you muchly!

[idea-of-sarcasm.livejournal.com]

Oh my, this was brilliance and hilarious. What a great idea! And your frustrated Percy was well done.

[lorax]

Thank you! Percy was a new voice for me, so I'm glad he came across well!

[i-am-girlfriday.livejournal.com]

This is pure genius. Evil genius, to be exact.

[lorax]

Evil genius! High praise! Thank you very much!

[that-september.livejournal.com]

OMG Percy is hilarious. I loved this--very creative, and entertaining in general. The descriptions of the products sounded exactly like Fred and George, too, hahaha. I loved the "Adults Only" section. *dies laughing*

[lorax]

Aww, thank you very much! The product descriptions, though, came directly from the original, and you have xylodemon to thank for those!

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahahahahaahahaha!

This cracked me up so much. This is so very Percy.

[lorax]

Yay! Thank you so much, I'm glad it worked for you!

[edenfalling]

Oh, poor Percy! You just know Fred and George told the protestors that he was responsible for handling all their product testing and legal complaints, and he got swamped by even more trouble.

[lorax]

I wouldn't put it past them! Thank you for the comment!

[dromedarulz.livejournal.com]

I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT.
Seriously, how do you come up with this stuff? Brilliant...

[lorax]

Aww, thank you so much!

[obeetaybee.livejournal.com]

Brilliant!

[lorax]

Thank you!

[priestess-grrrl.livejournal.com]

hahaha, this is hilarious! The "adults only" part was the best! You totally have Percy down to a T...! ^_^

[lorax]

Aww, thank you very much! And your icon made me giggle. :)

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

Hahaaa! Can't breathe for laughing.

I feel for Percy, I really do. And his outraged inkblots.

[lorax]

Hee, I love his outraged inkblots! They were tygress' doing. I told her I wanted him to come off as increasingly frustrated and exasperated as it went along, so she used the inkblots for that. Thank you so much!

[paranoidangel]

That's so funny!

[lorax]

Thank you!

[katyhasclogs.livejournal.com]

I thought this was just hilarious. Well done for such an imaginative piece!

[lorax]

Aww, thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[soundingsea.livejournal.com]

This is hysterical! What a fun twist on the original!

[lorax]

Thank you! And thank you for the rec as well, I just saw that! :)

[xylodemon.livejournal.com]

This is absolutely, positively perfect. I can't even begin to tell you how much *fun* this is. I haven't laughed this hard in ages. Oh, Percy. The poor and long-suffering voice of reason. Brilliant!

Thank you so, so much!

[lorax]

Hee, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I nattered a bit about this in my LJ already, but I have to say - I'm a HUGE fan of your HP fic, and went right to some of the Marauders stuff to remix, and my eye went right to the catalogue and my mind immediately to doing Percy's notes. And I TRIED to fight it, but my brain refused to think of doing anything else. Heh. I'm glad it worked for you!

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

Fabulous critiques of Fred and George's products.

"Granted, two of them are now dating the Minister's assistants, but still."
Hee!

permanently enlarged tongues ... *wink.wink.*

Serving Gay For a Day Parfaits at coming out dinners! Ron and Harry! *giggles*

"palindrome"! Cardiff!

The Pygmy Puffs totally made me think of Tribbles when I first read it!

LOVE "There are protestors headed your way from the Ministry RIGHT NOW to crusade for animal rights and the unsuitability of canines for pockets. Cheers. Enjoy. They like to throw things. My favorite was the rotten fruit, really. Less concussions." [Though Percy's probably pedantic enough that he would have said "Fewer concussions."]

[lorax]

Hee! Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

And yes, "Fewer concussions" would probably have been more fitting, but I had didn't catch that until after the graphic for that section was done, so since it was toward the end I decided his frustration had gotten the better of his grammar skills. ;) Thank you for reading!

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, I loved this! You captured Percy's exasperation perfectly.

[wild-ocean.livejournal.com]

"and the last thing I want is more bloody brothers!"

I was laughing throughout. Great remix, loved every word, scarlet ink and inkblots included. Percy is furious. Fantastic job!

[lorax]

Hee, thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[pottergirl26.livejournal.com]

Absolutely brilliant. It brings the fic genre to an entirely new level. It was totally Percy and it made me laugh even harder.

[lorax]

I missed this comment when it came in, but thank you so much!

[werewolfsfan.livejournal.com]

I just love this soooooooo much! The original is gorgeous and Percy's MoM approved noted are just so him! An instant classic.
And the best part is, no wizards were killed in making this fic possible!

[lorax]

Aww, thank you so much! And nope, no one was harmed. Though you could argue Percy-abuse. :) I never saw this comment when it came in, so I apologize for not answering! And I had a flurry of comments come in and someone pointed me to your rec, so thank you very much for that too!

[settiai]

Hee! Oh, this was brilliant.

[lorax]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[droxy.livejournal.com]

ROTFLMAO! Well done you! Hugs Percy...XD

[lorax]

He needs a hug I'm sure. :) Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[severely-lupine.livejournal.com]

Hilarious. I think my favorite part was the last line of the 'adult section' comments.

[(Anonymous)]

absolutely brilliant!!!!!!!!