Every Breath You Take (Lean on Me Reprise) [Grey's Anatomy; Cristina Yang, Meredith Grey, Meredith G

[dangermars.livejournal.com]

Title: Every Breath You Take (Lean on Me Reprise)
Author: zvi_likes_tv
Summary: Cristina won't let Meredith slip away.
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Characters: Cristina Yang, Meredith Grey, Pairing: Meredith Grey/Derek Shepperd
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I disclaim all copyrights or trademarks to the characters Meredith Grey, Cristina Yang, Derek Shepperd, or Addison Montgomery. These characters were originated by Shonda Rhymes and the writing staff for Grey's Anatomy.
Original story: Only by Daughter of the Bard / chicleeblair
Notes: Thanks to ext_59120, fox1013, pirateygoodness, and (one other person from the remix chat whose name I forget, I am so, so sorry.) Anyway, thank you for audiencing and reassuring me about this story, and sorry for ignoring your advice about the end. That was totally on me.

Stance on Warnings

Night 1

Siouxsie and the Banshees woke Cristina up, and she scrabbled at her nightstand for her cellphone. "Is someone dying? There better be blood, Meredith."

"If I told you that I needed more space, would you leave North America?"

Cristina rubbed at her face and pulled the comforter over her head. "I don't really want to listen to more whining about your boyfriend right now. I don't care if Derek's run away to Timbuktu—"

"—Bangladesh, it says."

"—or Bangla—. What says? What says what?" She struggled to sit up, considered whether or not she could make it through this conversation un-caffeinated. She mouthed Bangladesh to herself and stretched under the bed for an emergency Jolt.

"Derek left me a packet on his bed. There's a note saying he joined Doctors without Borders and his first assignment is in Bangladesh. He gave me his trailer and the deed to the land."

Cristina stared forlornly at the Jolt. She couldn't seem to open it and hold on to the phone at the same time. "What are you supposed to do with a trailer? You have a house." It should be possible to open the damn soda one-handed. She knew she'd done it before. If she could only figure out how.

"I know!"

There was a moment of silence while Cristina considered whether the caffeine was worth possibly breaking her teeth opening the pulltab. She regretfully put the can down on her nightstand.

"Now that he's gone to Bangladesh, Meredith, I have something very important to tell you."

"Is this the part where you tell me Derek's a dick?"

"Yes?"

"Now is not the time for manhating fake-lesbianism. Now is the time for hugs."

"Aren't they kind of the same thing?"

Meredith's sigh was entirely theatrical, Cristina could tell. "I'm coming over, Dr. House."

"Let yourself in. I'll still be in bed."

Night 5

Cristina woke up to the sound of sniffling. She turned on her side and saw Meredith lying on her back, tears and snot running sloppily down her face. She thought about saying something, but she didn't know what, so she just reached out and pulled Meredith to her, squeezed her tight.

"I miss him," Meredith said. "I didn't—he's so…! We spent so much time together. That fucking house. I needed space. Not an ocean."

Cristina squeezed harder and hated her life. Meredith's life, too. "Men suck. Particularly men who do shit for your own good."

"Yes," said Meredith and turned her face into the side of Cristina's neck. "I hate him and I want him and he sucks so hard."

Cristina didn't say anything, because the next words out of her mouth were going to be about how disgusting Meredith's snot was, which wasn't what the situation called for at this exact moment.

Day 67

Cristina put one arm around Meredith and used the other to take the phone from her. "Meredith started crying before she could say what's wrong. Who is this and what did you say to her?"

"It's Addison Montgomery." Cristina nearly dropped the phone. "I'm sure she didn't want to hear it from me, but I didn't think anyone in Derek's family knew to call. Derek died in Bangladesh."

Cristina made a quiet, sympathetic noise, but didn't interrupt.

"Should I give you the funeral information? Or I guess I could send Meredith an e-mail?"

Cristina felt Meredith's hot, damp moans along her neck, and shook her head, even though Addison couldn't see it. "I don't think she's going to be in shape to get on a computer too soon. Let me get something to write with."

Evening 70

"Yes?" said Cristina.

"Do you miss me, Cristina Yang?" crooned Meredith, slurry and soft and giggly on Cristina's speakerphone. "Do you wish I was there?"

Cristina was cooking, as she did once in a great while, a little beef, a little noodles like her mother used to make. Comfort food, bulgogi and dangmyeon with just a little soy sauce. "Not really. You always wander off when you're drunk, because I don't want to fuck you." After she said it, Cristina thought that maybe Meredith was looking for a hug, rather than the truth. "Where are you?"

"In a bar," sang Meredith. The sounds behind her—whispery jazz music, clinking glassware, the murmur of voices—seemed to back that up.

"In what bar? Are you going to make it to your hotel room in one piece?"

"In the hotel bar!" Meredith giggled. "I don't even have to catch a cab. Just the elevator."

"That's good." Cristina put her beef under the broiler and checked the noodles in the frying pan. "Did you actually go to Shepherd's funeral?"

"It was very sad and I cried and nobody knew who I was."

"So you came back to the bar and got drunk?" Cristina picked up the noodles and started putting them on a plate.

"Noooo. I waited until they finished burying him and then I put a rose on his grave and took a nap."

Cristina dropped her noodles. "Jesus, that's morbid!" The noodles were fine, but the counter was chipped, goddamnit.

"What?"

"You took a nap on Shepherd's grave?"

"No, I took a nap on the hotel bed. And then I drank the liquor from the little refrigerator while I cried. And then I came to the bar and drank more."

"Okay," said Cristina. "So, you're fine."

Meredith laughed, sharp and fast and loud. "No. No, I am the opposite of fine. But I'll be home tomorrow night. I might be fine then. Goodbye!"

"Fuck," said Cristina. She wanted to call back, but she didn't know what to say. And it was time to take the meat out of the oven, anyway.

Day 112

"You bought me dessert," said Cristina. She poked at the cup of chocolate pudding with her spork. "Why are you plying me with cheap chocolate?"

Meredith sighed. "I just made you paranoid and grumpy with the pudding, didn't I?"

"Yes," said Cristina. "If you wanted to seduce me, you should have bought coffee. What do you want?"

Meredith looked down at her Cobb salad and stabbed a piece of bacon. "I want your blessing."

Cristina raised an eyebrow as she scraped off the puffy, white, non-dairy product.

"I'm going to work for the Indian Health Service at the end of the academic year."

"By which you mean next week?"

Meredith nodded.

"What the fuck?"

"I‘ve got to get out of Seattle, Cristina. They've got me set up on a reservation in Arizona. I'll be warm and I can stop taking Vitamin D pills—."

"Let's see. You had to apply for the job. Get your medical license. Find someplace to live out there?" She kept going when Meredith nodded. "Give notice to Bailey and the Chief. Arrange something about your house besides making Alex and Izzie responsible for it." Cristina leaned forward. "You must have started this before you left for New York. I don't see how the timing works otherwise." She stood up and put her burger and her salad back on her tray. She pushed the pudding in front of Meredith. "This is yours," she said, dumped her shit in a trashcan, and split.

Meredith caught up with her outside the cafeteria and hustled her into a mysteriously empty smoking shelter. It reeked like high school and made Cristina think about punching someone. "What?" said Cristina. "You're through with Seattle. I get it. Your mom's gone, your dad's a drunk who hates you, your sister's like you only daffier and sweeter, and your boyfriend's dead. You don't have anything to stay for. Great, fine, terrific, move on. I don't have to throw you a party."

"Cristina, I—. I'm sorry I didn't say something sooner. And I'm sorry I'm hurting you, but —."

Cristina laughed. "See, the funny part is, my feelings are not the problem here." She turned away from Meredith and closed her eyes. "Derek's still the problem. Derek's why you're going to trash your career. Derek's dead and he's still ruining your life, Meredith. That is the problem I am having."

Meredith made a small, soft, hurt sound, and Cristina turned around to look at her.

Meredith had her back to Cristina, shoulders hunched and neck bent. "This isn't about Derek. I need to get out of here, I need to go someplace where I'm not Meredith Grey." She took a deep breath, straightened up and turned around. She looked Cristina in the eye. "You know I'm coming back."

"If you're leaving, what are you coming back for?"

"Cristina, what do you think? I'm a surgeon. I've got four years of residency left, and Seattle Grace has the top program in Washington state. I'm not going to throw my career away." Meredith rolled her eyes. "I know you think Dark and Twisty Meredith is all torn up over a guy, but that's not what this is, okay? This is me, this is me washing him out of my hair, and making peace with my family, and getting away from everyone who expects me to be a crazy slutty drunk. This is me moving the fuck on, Cristina."

"Oh," said Cristina. She found that, without realizing, she'd backed up against the wall. "Okay."

And then Meredith stepped forward and hugged her. "I wish I could bring you with me. You are the person who hasn't fucked me up this year, you know?"

Cristina hmm'd and brought her own arms up around Meredith.

"But you're fine, so…."

Cristina relaxed, felt calm bubble up her spine. "So, we'll write."

"Text message, anyway."

Comments

[zulu]

Aww! They are each other's PERSONS. Very nice.

[zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I really think Meredith and Cristina's relationship is the heart of the show.

[ladyblack888.livejournal.com]

This is the first time I'm reading GA fic and it was so worth it. Mer and Christina are spot on, from their personalities to their voices, which were like I was hearing them in my head.

[zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com]

I love hearing that I got the characterization right. And I'm glad your first experience with Grey's fic was a good one.

[bofoddity.livejournal.com]

This was so good! Christina's POV is excellent, and I love how messed up Meredith is, yet also willing to pull her life back together. Their friendship, though not perfect, is one of the strongest relationships on the show, and that strength really shows here.

[zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your feedback. Everything you said was exactly what I wanted to hear.

[sahiya.livejournal.com]

I like that! I haven't read much GA fic, but I like that a lot.

[zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[chicleeblair.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!! I really liked this retelling!

[zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com]

Thanks for letting me know.