I LOVE THIS. Like, so much that I might be incoherent. I don't know if you know me, but making it Near-centric was the surest way to my heart. :-)
My very first thought was that it's kind of an odd story to choose - I know there's not much there. But, wow, you kicked its ass. In such a good way!
There are too many beautiful lines to quote them all, but:
He was the only one still alive to find out where the fifth passageway went. Oh oh oh.
What secret passageways might they have discovered if they hadn’t all been racing down a pre-set course? This ties everything together so nicely.
I love that Near knew Mello was looking for the passageways, and how much he noticed and felt and didn't say, and how you lined each section up with mine in nifty ways, and the echoes and memories and bittersweetness, and... just ALL of it. And YES to Matt doing his best to live in the space between Mello and Near. You wrote that dynamic beautifully.
I love the third piece especially. I had sort of imagined that Near looked up the plans for the House at some point and just remembered them, but your way is better! And thank you for reading between the lines everything I hoped to get across there, and so much more.
The last section broke my heart.
Really, this is amazing. You pulled a whole new reality out of my tiny little sketch of a story, and I think that's what remixing is at its best. I'm truly impressed and humbled by your effort and thought. Thank you! (Whenever you feel like answering: may I rec this in my journal? Also, after the reveal, I am friending you SO HARD. :D)
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Long comment is loooong
Date: 2008-04-19 11:29 pm (UTC)My very first thought was that it's kind of an odd story to choose - I know there's not much there. But, wow, you kicked its ass. In such a good way!
There are too many beautiful lines to quote them all, but:
He was the only one still alive to find out where the fifth passageway went.
Oh oh oh.
What secret passageways might they have discovered if they hadn’t all been racing down a pre-set course?
This ties everything together so nicely.
I love that Near knew Mello was looking for the passageways, and how much he noticed and felt and didn't say, and how you lined each section up with mine in nifty ways, and the echoes and memories and bittersweetness, and... just ALL of it. And YES to Matt doing his best to live in the space between Mello and Near. You wrote that dynamic beautifully.
I love the third piece especially. I had sort of imagined that Near looked up the plans for the House at some point and just remembered them, but your way is better! And thank you for reading between the lines everything I hoped to get across there, and so much more.
The last section broke my heart.
Really, this is amazing. You pulled a whole new reality out of my tiny little sketch of a story, and I think that's what remixing is at its best. I'm truly impressed and humbled by your effort and thought. Thank you! (Whenever you feel like answering: may I rec this in my journal? Also, after the reveal, I am friending you SO HARD. :D)