fic: Closet (Looking Through You Remix) (SGA, John/Rodney/Ronon/Teyla, NC-17)

[jammasterjayne.livejournal.com]

Title: Closet (Looking Through You Remix)
Author: helens78
Summary: Ronon and Teyla are beautiful together, and still Rodney doesn't want to be here.
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay/Ronon Dex/Teyla Emmagen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 1871
Disclaimer: SGA and all its characters belong to MGM. No fictional characters were stolen in the writing of this story; they're all right where the creators left them. (They're just here, too.)
Original story: Closet Porn Sex Scene by panisdead
Notes: An argument could be made that I should warn for the following in this story: non-con, or at the very least, coercion. As the author, I don't think either one of those things applies in this situation, but if either one of those things is an extremely sensitive issue for you, please pass this by. This story also contains D/s kink, which is not something I think should go into the warnings section at all, but what the hell, you're already highlighting this bit, so you probably want to know these things! There is also, if you couldn't tell from the headers, het sex in this story. Okay, I think all my bases are covered now.

Thanks to my two lovely beta-readers (kyuuketsukirui and telesilla), who rock enormously. :)

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"--no, I mean it, I don't have time," Rodney said, but it wasn't like John was dragging him. One strong hand on Rodney's shoulder was all it took; this was steering, maybe--pushing, even--but Rodney was putting one foot in front of the other all the same. "I just--not now," Rodney tried, "just give me, like, an hour--"

"Shut up," John said. They were at the room, finally, and he passed a hand over the plate on the wall and shoved Rodney inside.

Rodney's last protest didn't make it out of his throat.

Same bedroom as always--same big bed, same couch and chairs and table, same unassigned quarters that he and Rodney and Ronon and Teyla always used when they needed the soundproofed, camera-free space--but the bed wasn't empty like it usually was when John brought Rodney here.

"You started without us," John said.

"You are late," Teyla murmured from the bed. She was still dressed, partly, in a gauzy thing that barely covered her breasts, covered none of her back, and flowed down her body to cover the tops of her thighs--and Ronon's. Ronon was lying beneath her, arms stretched out above his head, eyes open and looking right past John to Rodney.

Ronon looked back to John, and John smiled at him.

"Sheppard--Colonel--" Rodney began. He was leaning back toward the door, starting to turn around.

"C'mere," John said, and he grabbed Rodney by the arm and pulled him close, spinning him around so they were face-to-face. Rodney's eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open, and John licked across Rodney's lower lip before kissing him hard.

He slid a hand down Rodney's chest; Rodney jumped when John got to his belt and palmed his dick. Bitch, bitch, bitch, moan, moan, moan, but Rodney was still hard, and he still groaned when John squeezed his dick through his pants.

"Okay," John murmured. "Come over here."

He went over to the couch and shoved the coffee table forward a few feet. Rodney followed, eyes flicking back to Ronon and Teyla every couple of steps. Teyla had started moving again, and she was gorgeous, smiling down at Ronon and alternating between bracing her hands on his chest and sliding them up to lace her hands through his. Rodney's mouth was still hanging slightly open, and he'd stopped talking for the moment. That was a good sign; it was all the sign John needed, really. He grabbed the back of Rodney's jacket and pulled him down to the floor.

It wasn't a graceful move. Rodney's hands caught the coffee table, which probably saved his knees from a rough fall. "Ow! Shit," Rodney said, looking over his shoulder. "Watch it--"

"You watch." John leaned down, putting his face next to Rodney's, close enough he could feel the warmth from Rodney's breath. "You stay right there, on your goddamned knees, and watch."

Rodney swallowed, and John gave his head a rough twist, putting his eyes on Ronon and Teyla again. From there, Rodney went slightly inert, letting John strip his jacket off and toss it aside. When John knelt down behind him and tried to pull Rodney's back against his chest, Rodney turned around halfway. "John--I can't. I can't do--"

"Blah, blah, blah," John whispered. He wasn't subtle or graceful about it this time; he just dropped his hand to Rodney's crotch and squeezed. Hard. Rodney jerked back against him, eyes closing, and John pulled him back further, putting a hand on Rodney's throat and leaning Rodney's head back against John's shoulder. "You're such a fucking liar, McKay."

Ronon looked away from Teyla--how, John didn't know; no way could John have taken his eyes off her if she'd been riding him like that--and gave John a look. John met Ronon's eyes, but he squeezed Rodney's throat a little tighter, tight enough that Rodney's jaw dropped open and he had to work a little harder to draw a breath. Rodney reached back for John's hip, and John raised an eyebrow at Ronon. Ronon nodded and lay down again, and Teyla pressed her hips down against his, making him growl softly. Rodney swallowed and made a soft noise; John eased his grip on Rodney's throat.

"Lean forward," John said, moving with him. "Put your hands on the table." Rodney did, and John unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants. He pushed them down around Rodney's thighs, and Rodney tensed up; John could see his shoulders go rigid under his shirt.

"Stop," Rodney said. "Sheppard--stop, I can't do this, I can't be here, I'm--"

"--staying," John whispered back. He reached up to Rodney's mouth again, put his hand across it. "You're staying, and you're going to be quiet, or I can gag you. You got it?"

Rodney nodded, but John didn't move his hand. He stayed draped across Rodney's back, letting Rodney hold them both up, and he got a hand on Rodney's dick again, jerking him roughly. Rodney whimpered, and John's hand tightened against his jaw.

"Just watch," he whispered. "Watch."

Teyla locked her hands into Ronon's, pinning him down, and Ronon arched his back and rocked his hips up to meet hers. The filmy material of her gown was the only thing keeping this from being outright pornographic; instead, there was something left to the imagination, and John had no doubt Rodney was imagining plenty.

"Good," Teyla breathed. She did something, bore down a little harder with her next undulation, and Ronon groaned. He pushed back against her grip, and despite her leverage, it was clear he could move her if he really wanted to. She eased her weight off his hands and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Shall I let you go?" she murmured, shifting her hips from side to side. Ronon gasped and shook his head, letting his arms fall above his head again, this time crossing his wrists over each other as he clenched his hands into fists. Teyla smiled and pinned his hands with one of hers, and Rodney's dick jumped in John's hand.

"Uh-huh," John whispered, taking his hand off Rodney's jaw; if Rodney wanted to say something now, John wanted to hear it. He bit down gently on Rodney's ear, and Rodney shuddered, but he didn't make a sound. "Yeah. That's it, Rodney. C'mon." He was hard himself, and he pressed his dick against Rodney's ass, letting Rodney feel it. "How fucking beautiful is that?" He waited a few more seconds, but still nothing. "Are you watching?" he asked. Of course Rodney was--he was riveted, and John doubted he'd be able to pull Rodney's eyes off Ronon and Teyla unless he made it a direct order, but still--no words.

Order him to say something. You could make it an order. He pushed the thought away. It could work, yeah, because Rodney was just on the edge of that place where he'd do anything, where John could take anything, but not this time. He bent his head down and bit the side of Rodney's neck, gently, easy, not too sharp. "I wanna fuck you so goddamn hard, Rodney--"

That got a sound out of Rodney; he moaned and shoved back against John's hips.

"Yeah?" John whispered. "Want that? You want to be fucked right now?"

"I--" Rodney panted a few times, then nodded.

Good boy, John thought, but he bit his tongue and rubbed his dick hard against Rodney's ass. "You want to be fucked while you're watching Ronon and Teyla? That's what you want?"

"Yes," Rodney gasped, "yes, I--John--"

"Yes?" Almost, so close, come on, Rodney...

"Yes, yes, yes, please, John, just--don't, don't make me--please, yes, I want--don't--"

Babbling, incoherent, begging--close enough, John decided. He rubbed his palm across the head of Rodney's dick, getting his hand wet with pre-come. Rodney was so close he was leaking, had been for a while, and the change in friction was obviously a relief. Rodney gasped and pushed back against John's dick, and John planted his free hand between Rodney's shoulderblades and shoved him flat on the coffee table.

"That's it," John murmured. "That's it. You're so damn good, Rodney--"

"John, I can't, you don't--oh, God, please, please, now, damn it, I have to--I can't--"

Teyla had her free hand under her gown, now, and she was touching herself, stroking her clit in quick, efficient motions. She closed her eyes, and when she started to cry out, John bent down to Rodney's ear again and hissed out, "Now. Come on. Come. Right now. For me--"

And Rodney did, wordless and gasping, breaking his silence only when John's strokes got too rough, too much for his oversensitive skin to handle. John glanced up to Ronon, who was straining and jerking under Teyla's grip; trying not to move, John knew, and Teyla was grinning at him, still gently rocking back and forth.

"You may," she panted, and Ronon did: he arched and shuddered and let her force his hips down to the bed so he could barely move. By the end of it, he lay under her looking boneless and limp and smiling ear-to-ear.

John looked down at Rodney again, and he couldn't get his pants down fast enough. He jerked himself off, palm still slick and sticky with Rodney's come, and he kept his hand in the center of Rodney's back, fist clenching around a handful of his t-shirt. Rodney was panting heavily, coming down from all of this fast--too fast--but John didn't need long, and he bit down hard on his lower lip as his dick swelled in his hand, come streaking across Rodney's lower back. Rodney jerked under him, but John held him down until the last drops were gone, shaken off onto the curve of Rodney's ass.

He groaned as he got up off his knees and collapsed on the couch. Teyla had snuggled down onto Ronon's chest, and he was holding her; they both looked content as hell. John rubbed a hand over his face and took a few slow breaths before sitting up, awkwardly fastening his pants back up, and reaching out for Rodney. "Hey--"

Rodney pushed himself off the coffee table and yanked his boxers and pants back over his hips. "I'm fine," he snapped. "Just--fine. I have work." His t-shirt was already getting dark and damp at the hem; he shoved it into his pants and buckled his belt.

"Rodney--" John got to his feet, none too steadily, and put a hand on Rodney's arm. Rodney jerked away, and he turned halfway around to meet John's eyes. There was a brief moment of contact, where John almost said the hell with it and grabbed Rodney; then Rodney looked away again, and John exhaled, rocking back on his heels.

"I said I was busy," Rodney mumbled. "I said. When I got here. I--I have to go."

"You always have to go," John shot back. "You don't need to go, you can--"

Rodney pushed back into John's space, jabbing a finger at the center of John's chest. "Don't tell me what I need, John," he hissed. John flinched; Rodney took a step back. "I just--someday you're going to get that I don't work that way." He shook his head, grabbed his jacket, and pulled it on as he left.

Comments

[panisdead.livejournal.com]

Oh man, this is really cool. What John wants, what Rodney is able and, more importantly, willing to give him, the uncomfortable parallels between Ronon and Teyla and their easy dynamic--I really enjoyed it. It's a very interesting story, and I mean that in the best possible way.

I like the way it works as a remix as well. Not so much the same events as the same tone, the same anger and frustration underlying both scenarios.

I think my favorite part is that moment of eye contact between John and Ronon when it becomes clear that though there's an underlying competitiveness on John's part at least, Ronon is also providing a warning--don't push him too far, Sheppard. Very cool.

Thanks so much! Definitely worth the wait.

[helens78]

Thank YOU for letting me play with your work! I had so much fun writing this, and you were spot-on in all the things you said -- picking out Ronon's warning, the parallels, trying to recapture your tone in different circumstances.

(Also I cannot believe I missed responding to your feedback when replying, so I am so, so glad I came back to double-check! So much sorry!!)

[tardis80.livejournal.com]

Ooh interesting undercurrents here. I do hope that the boys work something out. Thank you for a good read :)

[helens78]

Thank you! I'd like to think they will, too. They may be terrible at communicating, but I think it's something that can be muddled through. ^_^

[almostnever.livejournal.com]

The way Rodney's conflicted about what's going on here, and the way John wants it enough to drive ahead anyway, makes the scene that much hotter. And the drama between them is heightened by the counterpoint of the pleasure and closeness between Ronon and Teyla.

I wish I knew what Rodney was trying to say with his refrains of "I can't" but at the same time, John clearly hasn't figured that out yet, so it makes sense for the reader to be not quite sure, too.

Enjoyed this a lot, thank you.

[helens78]

<3 Thank you! Poor Ronon and Teyla -- I think they both want Rodney to be happy so much. But Rodney's total inability to communicate what he wants (of which the "I can't" refrain is one piece out of many) is not helping matters at all.

[darsynia.livejournal.com]

This story is very hot, but it also hit me in places that made me think, and I actually had to go off for a day and come back, to review it! I think part of it is because I can get very emotionally attached to characters in stories, and here, I think I latched onto Rodney, so when he left, I had to, too.

In any case, I really liked the expanding images from the original, particularly the outfit Teyla has on, and the closeness of the events compared to how I perceived them at first. It's very John, too, and I simply adore (though it hurts!) what Rodney says as he leaves, because it's true, he's not the type to accept being steamrolled, far from it. Great remix!

[helens78]

Thanks so much! You're exactly right -- Rodney does not want to get pushed into this, and even if he does like it, he's not happy about not getting the choice, not getting more say in it. I'd like to think he and John will eventually sort through that, but it's going to be a bumpy road, that's for sure.

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

I love how this goes against not just fanon, but against general BDSM tropes as well. Fanon Rodney very often needs sex to function better, and here he's being torn away from something important for a foursome. He's complaining and saying he doesn't have time, etc. and of course most fics would end up with him grateful to John for making him go down, and he'd go off on his merry way. In most BDSM stories, whether fanfic or original, the dom knows everything and never makes a mistake. So if John thinks Rodney needs to be taken down, then regardless of Rodney's protesting, it will turn out that John's right.

Of course that's exactly what doesn't happen here, and that's what makes it so awesome and elevates it above being just another run-of-the-mill PWP.

[helens78]

Thank you so much! <3 I'm really, really happy with the way this turned out -- the inspiration to play against type was very welcome and I felt really good about where it took me. Not that I want the boys to be unhappy -- but I like seeing what happens when things don't go as expected, both in the meta sense of not following fanon and in the more direct sense of John fucking up (and Rodney failing to communicate clearly until after the scene). :)

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. This is terrific -- hot, disturbing, discomfiting, shiny. :-) I love Ronon and Teyla here -- I mean,

"Good," Teyla breathed. She did something, bore down a little harder with her next undulation, and Ronon groaned. He pushed back against her grip, and despite her leverage, it was clear he could move her if he really wanted to. She eased her weight off his hands and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Shall I let you go?" she murmured, shifting her hips from side to side. Ronon gasped and shook his head, letting his arms fall above his head again, this time crossing his wrists over each other as he clenched his hands into fists. Teyla smiled and pinned his hands with one of hers, and Rodney's dick jumped in John's hand.

-- guh!

[helens78]

Thank you so much! And oh, yes, Ronon and Teyla are terrific -- so comfortable with each other and with these roles, enough so to try to draw Rodney in, to try to show him what he can do if he wants to. It may not be their story, but they have something important to do here. *hugs them both*

[saffronhouse.livejournal.com]

Oh, very nice! Lovely and so difficult.

[helens78]

Thank you! It's definitely not an easy scene (or in this world, an easy relationship), but it was a LOT of fun to write. :)

[banksiapossum.livejournal.com]

This is really clever writing. It is amazing to see so much skill in your fic. At first I was a little anxious when John's hand pressed Rodney's throat and I stopped reading for a while, but it is a fascinating piece and as I read it again, and again several times, I kept seeing how well it was crafted and my admiration for your talent deepened. I am very impressed by this.

I think that there are some fics that are highly popular because of the content. This one, for me, is not the type of fic that would attract me for its content - and yet - it is so very fascinating because of the way it has been written. I especially like the skill in the characterisation and your awareness of the way the characters interact. It is brilliant.

I feel like I only have enough knowledge? appreciation? to see the art in it after you have already crafted it. Like being unable to solve a puzzle on my own, but when it is explained I can follow it. Or knowing just enough about the skill of playing a certain musical instrument to be able to appreciate a master. I am in awe of what you have done with this fic.

Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us.

[helens78]

Thank you so much! Wow. :) I loved writing this, and if you're more interested in hearing about my thoughts as I wrote, I did commentary both on the original wonderful scene by panisdead and on the remix here. :)

That's one fine piece of writing.

[(Anonymous)]

I appreciate how much is packed into such a small story. I'm kind of surprised by the comment replies mentioning Rodney's failure to communicate. From my perspective, he was crystal-clear throughout the story. John repeatedly failed to listen as Rodney's Dom. I enjoyed Ronon attempt to warn John. I'm guessing John is very inexperienced as a Dom in this reality. I enjoy BDSM in SGA as much as the next gal, but I'm skeptical that John & Rodney can work out...unless John gets his head out of his *ss and learns from his mistakes. Maybe Teyla will give him some pointers. :-)

Very nicely done!

Re: That's one fine piece of writing.

[helens78]

Thanks so much! :) And yeah -- this was one time where John totally and completely guessed wrong, and the first step to figuring out where to go is going to be whether John can admit he was wrong or not. He and Rodney are both pretty stubborn!

[secondsilk.livejournal.com]

Oh, cool.

Difficult, but cool. John and Rodney seem to be always across purposes. It's not just that John is not good (read: really bad) at expressing his feelings, I think he's really bad at feelings full stop, at reading other people's as well as knowing his own. The idea that Rodney's physical reaction is all that matters.

So it'll be up to Rodney, socially awkward as he can be, to explain in words that John can understand. Which might be difficult with the distraction of Teyla and Ronon.

[helens78]

:) I'm glad you liked it! And you're dead-on about John. It's a case where, to him, he was getting mixed signals, and to Rodney, he was saying "not now", and Rodney understands John, but now things are gonna be awkward...

*pets everybody*

[korilian.livejournal.com]

I liked this. I've read to much BDSM fic where the characters turn really OC. Like they get to hand out spankies and suddenly everything falls into place and everyone is able to travel the mine field of messy personal relations perfectly.

[helens78]

Thanks!

[hickman1937.livejournal.com]

This is interesting and comes close to exploring something I've always wondered about. What if someone didn't always want to be dominated? This didn't read as noncon to me so much as Rodney being shoved into a role he didn't chose and at the end saying no. Most of the idiocy in this is John's but I see Teyla and Ronon as contributing also. Rodney was clearly saying No, (I was reading not now, not like this) and no one listened. I think it's going to take awhile for John and to a lesser degree, Teyla and Ronon, to earn back Rodney's trust. I'm sure they can if they really try. Thank you for this story. It is perplexing.

On edit, I tried to go read your commentary but got the goat. Is there somewhere else I can find it?

[helens78]

Thanks for reading! I'm glad it gave you something to ponder. :D

As for the commentary, it's here on Dreamwidth. :) It talks a lot about how I read the original and what I think is going on behind the scenes, but I also think the story is very open to interpretation, and I like your take on it; thanks for sharing it with me! :)

[hickman1937.livejournal.com]

I actually think part of his reaction is that he feels submission is not something men do; I think it's partly a gender thing, and an inability to reconcile his desire to do it with the socialization he's had all his life (which is why he acts like such a jerk to Sam, for instance). Now I think I mis-read the story.

I thought it was about McKay liking this but he is nobody's tool. Maybe because I've always seen canon McKay and Sheppard as two alphas that somehow work. Sorry, I'm just a reader. You were gracious enough to comment a couple of nights ago so no need to reply. Again, thank you for this story that I'm going to spend too many nights trying to imagine what happens next.