First, I love how you took the story I wrote and crafted this story from it. The intersections gave me goosebumps! But your portrayal of Raven was just perfect. *shivers*
Though she waits for him to notice her, he never does, consumed by his own experiments. Erik sits in the park, his hand splayed over a chessboard. Together, they wait for one of the pieces to move, for the king to wobble until it all fall down again. She gives up before he does, just like always.
That section absolutely took my breath away and I really felt for Raven. More than the others, she has to struggle to figure out who she is - who she really is.
I love the way you wove the dreams into Raven's story as well. The bit in Hell's Kitchen made me squeal, especially when Raven thought about killing him anyway, just to make a point.
You absolutely nailed her personality.
And the ending was stunning. But her name is Raven. She is tall, and her hair is brown. Her skin is fair and her teeth are straight. She thinks her favorite color might be green. Her name is Raven, and she’s leaving the rest of them behind.
I wanted to cheer for her!
And, dearest remixer, I am certainly cheering for you!! This was awesome beyond the telling. I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to tell you that yesterday!!!
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First, I love how you took the story I wrote and crafted this story from it. The intersections gave me goosebumps! But your portrayal of Raven was just perfect. *shivers*
Though she waits for him to notice her, he never does, consumed by his own experiments. Erik sits in the park, his hand splayed over a chessboard. Together, they wait for one of the pieces to move, for the king to wobble until it all fall down again. She gives up before he does, just like always.
That section absolutely took my breath away and I really felt for Raven. More than the others, she has to struggle to figure out who she is - who she really is.
I love the way you wove the dreams into Raven's story as well. The bit in Hell's Kitchen made me squeal, especially when Raven thought about killing him anyway, just to make a point.
You absolutely nailed her personality.
And the ending was stunning. But her name is Raven. She is tall, and her hair is brown. Her skin is fair and her teeth are straight. She thinks her favorite color might be green. Her name is Raven, and she’s leaving the rest of them behind.
I wanted to cheer for her!
And, dearest remixer, I am certainly cheering for you!! This was awesome beyond the telling. I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to tell you that yesterday!!!
Fantastic job!