This is amazing. First off, I'm so thrilled you picked a story featuring an original character! Never in a million years would I have guessed that you'd pick this one, and it's so very flattering. :)

I entirely fail at adhering to originals in my own remixing, so this here is a fantastic example of the kind of remix I totally admire. You preserved a lot of my original prose, but turned it inside out, re-arranged the timeline, and had all these subtle touches here and there that made it entirely new and yours. So sweet!

And that plot twist at the end? Blows my mind and kinda breaks me. I don't know what I was expecting, exactly, but I didn't think I'd be surprised. And yet I so totally am. Great job.