First off, I want to apologise for how long it's taken me to review this fic, because if you're anything like me you were probably waiting on tenterhooks all week to know what the original author thought of your remix. So, sorry. :)
Anyway I wanted to tell you that I really like what you've done with my story; it's quiet and it's subtle, and it gets under my skin in a way that's really hard to pin down. In some ways it's very similar to the original, but you've got an uncanny knack for changing just the right details so that a whole new world springs up around their circumstances. I love that even though it's still from Harry's PoV, we somehow have this larger window into Draco's mind because the setting is so different than the Burrow, and it's somewhere he feels comfortable rather than on guard. I'm not sure if that makes sense. :)

And there are some particularly lovely turns of phrase here, and I think this:

But every time Harry meets him in the south garden—a place so familiar with their trysts that the very memory of it sends a sly twist through Harry’s stomach — Draco’s eyes light up for a moment before he shutters them again behind a mask of amused indifference.

was my favorite line in the whole piece - that's the story in microcosm.